Online dating is now a “real world” phenomenon. In fact, it seems near impossible these days to find love any other way. There is an inherent problem with this, though, one for which all would be online daters need to be aware. You never really know to whom you are speaking until you meet. Daters beware.
I got duped. Yep – he got me, real good. Fortunately I am not the type to part with hard earned cash (or otherwise), so it was never going to succeed to a full on scam. I did though, lose something. I lost a part of me that had “connected” with the douchbag that was pretending to be Captain Thomas Falconer. He was cute. I mean, real cute, y’know? The kinda cute that makes you swoon. Sure, not all the pictures he shared with me were super cute (sorry Captain Lindegaard), BUT, I had grown bonded to that face – and so I loved them all.
This is “my Thomas”. Cute isn’t he? Yep. I can’t quite bring myself to remove this image from my mobile screen saver yet – but I will. Given time!
Women love with their heads as well as their hearts
The videos, the pictures, the caring messages. WOW .. I was well and truly suckered. The REAL Thomas (yes, there is one – and he is indeed a real-life captain) does not know that in one of his videos (that was shared with me by Fake-Thomas), I nicknamed him “Chucky”. How that man is able to create videos whilst maintaining a smile (slightly Chucky-esk, hence the nickname) and without the slightest tremor – I have no idea! A girlfriend and I had great fun recreating this video – but unfortunately I am not able to share that with you here.
Now, lest you think that I am très gullible, let me tell you – I can usually spot a faker a mile off. They have though, become ever more sophisticated. One lady shared with me that her faker had inadvertently sent her a link to his online tutorial on how to make a woman fall in love with. Bah Humbug! T’internet has a lot to answer for. Oh wait – it is not the tool that is to blame, it is the scumbags who use it to con innocent people looking for love. I say people rather than women, as I know it happens to guys too.
So why did I “fall” for a fake, one that I had never met? And how do I know that there are many more women out there susceptible to the same process? Because let me tell you, dear reader, I was indeed subjected to a process. A magic script – a recipe for how to hook women in.
It was a whatsapp romance!
In another blog, I have shared some of the WhatsApp messages that were exchanged in the first few days. They stand out for their very ordinariness. The type of messages that you would exchange with any regular guy. But layered on top of that … was caring. A few kind words here – an expression of concern there. An “oh, you just made me cry”, and a man seemingly in touch with, and able to verbalise his emotions. Every woman’s dream, right? No? Ok – well for me, a man who is in touch with his emotions and who can talk about every subject under the sun – is my kinda guy. It is a little sad that I now realise that the likelidhood is, he doesn’t really exist.
In fact, I will share with you that at one point I was musing that “my Thomas” was me in male form. He so mirrored the things that were important to me that I quickly felt a strong pull to him. That and – ok – I’ll admit it, I am visually driven and I was sooo into his images. Top and bottom of it, I fancied him like crazy!
Here is one of the message that we exchanged – and I kinda gave him the 101 of how to hook me.
I also, early on, shared with him my concern that I could not be sure who he really was. These two messages are the exchange we had about that.
A few tips to get started
So how can women, and men, stay safe online?
There are a number of precautions that we can all take to ensure that our online interactions are as safe as they can be. Take a look at the tips below
- Be wary – if it is too good to be true, then it probably is
- If your crush is claiming to be in love with you before you have even met, stay clear
- Check out their pictures using Google Reverse Image search
- If you get no hits or just the one, then he/she is probably legit
- If you get lots of hits then the image is being used across multiple sites.
- You may even find that your crush is in fact a celebrity from a far and distant land (to be sure that you won’t recognise them as such)
I have many more tips to share, but I need to rest. Apart from my Fightback endeavours, I am a success coach and a person who has a chronic health condition. I have rather been overdoing it the last few days and I am exhausted.
Check back later for more tips, Dear Diary revelations and Fightback updates.
If anything in this post has resonated with you, please do comment, like and share.
All images of Captain Thomas Lindegaard used with his kind permission. These remain his sole copyright and should not be used in anyway without his express consent. He can be reached via Facebook Messenger @CaptainThomasLindegaard to report any profiles that have contacted you using his images. You can also check out his Fake Alert page on Facebook by clicking the link.