26th November, 2017
Woken up this morning tired but happy after spending a lovely afternoon/evening with good friends, celebrating Thanksgiving. Not a traditional celebration in the UK; my friend’s family are from America and so they observe the tradition every year.
Spending time with close friends, or Framily, as I like to call those friends I am particularly close to, was an absolute tonic. My pooch, Dillon, enjoyed it too – as he always does when he visits with them. Although I did not allow him to run around like a maniac like he usually does.
We had a lovely meal, generously prepared by my friend, and lots of G&Ts and Prosecco (hic!). We forewent the Margarita’s as we are saving that for my cocktail & canapes evening over Christmas.
This particular friend, is the kind of friend who treats you like family – so I didn’t mind sitting at her kitchen table, supping G&Ts (with a special twist – their very own Christmas Tree!) and peeling and preparing veg. After all – it was soooo much easier than the last time I undertook such a task for her and she had me peeling over-ripe figs!! Man, was that a job I hated, and VERY sticky!!
We spoke briefly about Fake-Thomas-gate (she was one of the few friends I let know what had happened), and she shared that she had been following my blog. I had wondered as much, as I could see from my website that a particular “mobile” from our home town was a regular visitor – and I was able to confirm this was indeed her.
It also reiterated my view about what happened – I have NO intentions in getting into all the detail, or having conversations about it. During the evening, I received a message from an acquaintance asking me about it, stating that they were “just concerned, and not being nosy”. I’m always thankful for people who check up on me – however, if I’m not going to talk to a close friend about it, I am not going to talk to anyone about it. I don’t need to. It happened to me and I am over it.
I’m am most definitely over it!
I am happy to report, dear diary, that I am well and truly over it. I no longer look at images of “Real-Thomas” and see my “Fake-Thomas”. That is gratifying. I will continue to blog and post, as I have enjoyed it tremendously. I love writing, but I only do so when I am compelled to and have something that I really want to say. I will also share parts of my story but not all – I have decided not to share all of my “WhatsApp Romance”. I will though, pick out key messages that I feel were instrumental in hooking me in. Rather, I will blog and post about the fakery, and about how easy is to be hooked in and why. I think this will be of more value to readers who stumble across my blog.
There is always a silver lining if you look for it
My experience has turned into a bit of a project. I now have a new website, a new Twitter account @FakeDatingRebel, a Facebook page and various Facebook groups. – oh, and a new account on #Instagram @FakeDatingRebel. Anyone who wants to talk to me about my experience, or indeed theirs, can reach me on any of these platforms, or indeed by commenting on this blog or via email firstname.lastname@example.org.
As a success coach, focusing on mental health and wellbeing, workplace dynamics and becoming your best self (Twitter @BeYourBestSelf2) – I have found a niche that I really did not expect would become my focus. I will continue to work on the other areas, as they are so very important to me – I will also now focus on supporting women (and men if they feel drawn to working with me) to navigate finding love in the current age. I anticipate that these women will be in their mature years, and struggling to find love online. Let’s face it – online dating seems to dominate these days, and there does not appear to be much in the way of alternative options. I may be wrong in that. I’ve never been one for work based romances, so maybe this is still a popular way of finding a new relationship.
For the majority of us, we are stuck with the online way of dating. A lot of the major sites do not cater for the woman (or man) over 40. I think this is fundamentally wrong. Also, whilst writing about it: how the hell can major dating sites justify taking not insignificant amounts of money from people who have little chance of finding a date on their dating site let alone a relationship? I’m thinking, in particular here, about Match.com. I have been a member of this site on and off for years. I don’t believe I have had even ONE date from the site. This despite being a paid member a number of times.
Time to make a stand and fightback
My next task after posting this blog, is to download and read the small print of the terms and conditions for all of the dating sites I am registered with. I will be looking for the clause that I wrote about yesterday. The one that says that not all profiles on the site will be legit. Of course, they don’t put it in quite those terms. If I find such a clause, I will be demanding my money back. Heck, I think I will be demanding my money back anyway – as a simple Google search reveals the age range that each site is targeted at and therefore successful for – and the majority aint for my age range, that’s for sure!
Dear diary, I may be youthful in outlook, and I may not quite look my age (thanks mum for your youthful genes) … but I am aware that I am well out of range of the target age for Match.com. Is it not morally wrong, then, for the site to take my money and that of thousands of others? It is at very least an infringement on – ok, maybe not trades description as they take care not to reveal an age bias; but I do think that, for people of a certain age, these sites are not fit for purpose. If that is not a trading standards issue, well it damn well ought to be!
Ok, so I think I should leave this post at this point. As ever, if anything I have shared here resonates with you, please comment, like, share. I would LOVE to year your stories too. If you don’t want to do so publicly, please email me or join one of my groups, where you will be able to chat with me personally (click the link to check out the groups). You can also message me privately on my page.
If you are approached on any site from a profile using images of this man (Captain Thomas Lindegaard), please be aware that there is a Tsunami of fake profiles out there using his images.
If you are approached by anyone using his images, please report this to Captain Lindegaard via Messenger on Facebook @CaptainThomasLindegaard. You can also check out his Fake Alert page on Facebook by clicking the link.
As ever, images of Captain Thomas Lindegaard are used with his kind permission. Copyright remains with him and these should not be used for any reason without his explicit consent.