28th November 2017 @ 06:37
Online dating woes
It has been quite a week. I have been blogging, posting, and webmaking; not to forget Tweeting and Twittering. I have been using paid promotion on #Facebook to get my message far and wide (within a reasonable budget you understand). For some strange reason Master Twitter does not want my money anymore, as I seem to have been banned from paid adverts. Quite how I violated their policies, is anyone’s guess. Of course, I did ask, in my inimitable style – of Tweeting along the lines of: Oi! What’s going on?? The only response was that they would email me – which they haven’t. So, I will keep my money thank you very much and spend it elsewhere.
A different kind of scam?
Oh, and guess what I received yesterday? A letter on behalf of #EliteSingles demanding money. The letter states that I failed to pay for a subscription in October! WHAT??? Now given that these dating membership sites only let you use their premium services AFTER you have parted with your hard earned money, I fail to see how this is possible! In any event, I’m pretty sure I haven’t been using that site for more than a year or so!
As you can imagine, I am well and truly p****d off with all things online dating right now!
So I hastily Tweeted #EliteSingles (guess what – I got no reply) and dashed off an email not to the company on the letter, but to their parent company. I got the stock responder we will respond to your email within 48 hours! So that’s me ever so slightly worried for the next 48 hours. Oh, but wait! Could this be another ruse? Could this be a fake letter?
If it is, then what is really worrying is that they have my name and address. Where did they get that from then? I have seen nothing in the news about #EliteSingles being hacked. Should this be the case, it wouldn’t surprise me – we only seem to get to hear about such happenings when the story is leaked.
So, getting back to my rather official letter demanding money. I did a google search on fake debtor letters for dating sites and I came up with this:
Bogus debt collection agencies, online dating chat robots, and an “Energy Department refund”: Internet ScamBusters. Source
You can check out more posts about dating site debt letter scams on this forum.
Oh, while I’m at it – this article by the Independent popped up in the search list, and is worth a read. WOW …a whopping £39 million has been reported (February 2017) to have been scammed out of online daters. WOW … big business then!
I have made a decision
No more online dating for me! Yes, I would still love to have the odd date, spend time in the company of an interesting man, but I am done with paying for the privilege of regularly being disappointed. In the couple of months or so that I have been avidly using the site, I have not had ONE date. That’s right. Not one. Now lest you think I am butt ugly, let me assure you that when I make the effort, I scrub up ok. Sniff.
Interaction that leads to nowhere
It’s not as though I don’t get a lot of “likes” and messages, and “so-and-so wants to meet you”. Not one of these has led to a real world date. Interestingly, it is from the sites where you can exchange messages unpaid (there are always paid for bells and whistles) that I have received offers of dates. Two in particular: #POF and #Badoo. Now, I have been on POF for years. Badoo not so long. Initially I was impressed that Badoo attempt to verify profiles – not so much when one such verified photo was confirmed as a fake!
Incidentally, the most expensive site that I am registered with, and from which I have received not even a modicum of interest from any guy that I would be comfortable to meet, is #Match.com! (Buyer beware if you are over 40).
Sure, following my not so new rule of meeting quickly rather than spending weeks or month endlessly conversing through the ether I have agreed to meet a number of men – you need to see if there is a spark, right? This is what happened:
- Guy that is more keen on me than I am on him, has blown me off twice. Second time to see his solicitor about his divorce (erm .. ok, maybe too soon to be dating then!)
- One guy within two seconds asked to meet – he was local (for a change) so I agreed. This time I cancelled as my heart was not in it. (I always said I would not meet a guy for the sake of it – but I was kinda wanting to bust my cherry on the first date from t’internet thing. It’s been awhile since I dated at all, let alone from the net).
- Yet another guy, local, but working away some distance asked me to meet the following Sunday when he was back home. I agreed to this as, initially at least, I liked his no nonsense approach. He then had to go and spoil himself by sending me a near-nude picture of himself!His retort to my protest was “well, you must find me attractive as you are chatting to me”. Can someone please explain to me the logic of that one, and why chatting to him (or finding him attractive – as it happens I didn’t particularly) infers consent to receive dodgy pictures? I mean, ok, so it was from the waist up – but I got the general idea and I am pretty sure the next one would have been the rest of the picture!
- Another guy, again, local asked to meet. He was reasonable looking if not a little tall for my petite stature. We agreed to meet the next day, at a local bistro I know. I had initially insisted that we meet for coffee at said venue, however, guy said that he rarely gets home from work before 7pm.So drinks it is. The next day I eagerly awaited confirmation – and it didn’t come. So I took it up on myself to send this message:
haven’t heard from you so I am unsure whether we are actually meeting tonight or not. Could you let me know?
I decided that if I didn’t hear back in plenty of time for me to get ready at a leisurely pace then regardless of the answer I would cancel. After all – I was NOT going to rush around like a demented loon trying to make a date that the guy did not have the decency to confirm the arrangements.
After some hours (and after the anticipated time of our meeting I might add), I received this response:
Hi Carol I am so sorry I was late back from London last night and it’s been absolutely manic today and a stressful day! Apologies that I didn’t get to respond earlier 😔x
Now ok. That is fine. But I am no longer playing nice online. I have a new, no nonsense bad-ass attitude. Had this gent simply messaged me to say that things were hectic and he may not be able to make this evening, I would have given him a second chance. To not contact me, displayed a lack of respect. I mean, the only reason I tried to confirm is that we hadn’t settled on an exact time. Can you imagine how I would have felt if I had spent an hour or two getting ready? You’ve heard the expression All dolled up with nowhere to go, right?
Keeping it real world
So, what is next for me and my seemingly impossible quest to have the odd date? Well, a real life girlfriend of mine has invited me along to a social networking event in a nearby city. I readily agreed to this and I am soooo looking forward to it. A perfect opportunity to come across interesting people – and who knows – I might score a date out of it. At the very least, the see-before-you-date potential is so deliciously appealing.
Well, dear diary, that is all I have time for just now. For anyone reading with me today, please do comment, like and share my blog. It would be great to hear from you.
As ever, images of Captain Thomas Lindegaard are used with his kind permission. Copyright remains with him and these should not be used for any reason without his explicit consent.
If you are approached on any site from a profile using images of this man (Captain Thomas Lindegaard), please be aware that there is a Tsunami of fake profiles out there using his images.
If you are approached by anyone using his images, please report this to Captain Lindegaard via Messenger on Facebook @CaptainThomasLindegaard. You can also check out his Fake Alert page on Facebook by clicking the link.