4th December, 2017 13:47
This momma has turned into a cougar, albeit a budget one, as I ain’t wealthy by any means! At least – I was for an hour or so. Let me explain …
Oh wait … before I do – I just have to share this with you.
A woman reached out to me on Instagram and was sharing her experiences of an attempt to dupe her using Captain Lindegaard’s images. (There’s a lot of it about!). So we are chatting away, and then a thought suddenly occurs to me. Here is the exchange that followed:
Erm ok, so maybe using Captain Lindegaard’s image as my profile pic on Instagram has backfired!
I am no longer a would-be-cougar … I am now a gay man!! The mind boggles. Hmmm.. let’s leave that one there shall we?
Ok, so back to my original blog topic. Am I a cougar-in-the-making? Well, dear diary – not really. My newly acquired cougar status lasted all of a couple of hours. Here’s what happened.
I had been contacted by a few young guys, ranging in age – the oldest being 31, the youngest 26. Now, the 31 year old was quite cute – in fact, probably a little bit too cute and definitely of the pretty boy persuasion (as I have stated before, I am a visually-orientated-kinda-gal).
Having knocked back a fair few of them, the youngest (at least, the youngest that I actually engaged with) made a few rather mature comments. Take a look:
Then this happened!
This was the parting shot!
Brutal? Maybe. In my defence, the guy got me onto WhatsApp under false pretences. He came across as mature and not having any expectations other than getting to know me – and, as I said, he seemed so mature. WRONG!
Not only that, when I went back to take a peek at his bio, I discovered that he lived at home with his parents! Maybe that was the attraction of an older woman – more likely to have their own place to hang out in!!!
So, ok, I admit – I was tempted to meet up with him. Afer all, age is but a number, right? Ok – well maybe it is more complicated than that. The reason the initial chat with this guy made me decide that I would take a chance on him was that he did not seem to have a “thing” for older women as most younger guys that approach me do. Instead, he expressed that he just didn’t really think it was an issue. There are plenty of examples of age-gap couples out there – and I wondered whether I was missing a trick by being so narrow in my view about this.
After all, finding a long term love is only part of the equation – the other part is about spending time in the company of an interesting man, and having someone to have dates with other than my girlfriends. Believe me, a night out with the girls is very different to a night out with a date.
All is not lost
Or so I thought. I got to wondering why it was (apart from the age bias that I suspect happens with Match.com) that I was receiving next to no messages from guys on the site. I mean, I scrub up ok when I make the effort, and I put my most recent decent pictures up – all from late September 2017 onwards.
So where was I going wrong? Ok, so my habit of clicking yay or nay based on the picture alone wasn’t really getting me anywhere – so if I thought the guy was my age or a little younger, I checked out what age range he was looking for. If I was only a year or so out I would still give an indicator that I had checked out and was interested in his profile.
I decided to investigate this a little further and I discovered, that for all the zillions of profiles on Match, only a small percentage of profiles are paid members. This means, dear diary, that I most probably was winking or messaging men that could not reply. This might also explain why a cute guy that winked at me did not respond to my message.
Now some sites do let you know who are paid members, but alas, not the sites I am signed up to. There was only one thing for it. I hesitated for a moment pondering on whether I really wanted to initiate a conversation with a guy who was too miserly to stump up the cash, then I thought – in for a penny in for a pound. So I paid for an extra – so that men could message me for free. Ok, at the very least, this would be a good experiment in determining whether it was me/my profile or lack of membership that was keeping me dateless.
So the experiment begins
Well, so far, I can’t say that my message traffic has gone up that much, but I did enjoy a couple of hours banter with a rather cute guy that I thought was just up the road. Turns out that I had misread the location, and he was in fact a couple of hours away, not the 30 minutes I had thought. This guy was pretty cute, and I was hopeful that my luck had changed.
Alas ….not so. On requesting that I send him some “pictures”, my refusal elicited this response!
Definitely not a hero then!
Is it time to give up with online?
So, today, it is quiet again in Match, safe for a few views from guys that I am not interested in, a wink from a guy who lives hours away, and oh – a message from not a bad looking guy who – ok, lived miles away – but for the right guy, that wouldn’t matter, right? WRONG.
The first alarm bell was that the guy winked at me before looking at my profile. Ok, so maybe he saw me in the “discover” shuffle that lets you swipe left or right for potential matches. It is quite feasible that a guy might wink without looking at my profile as there is a smattering of detail shared on the “cards” that are presented.
The second alarm bell was that there was only one picture – although Google reverse image did not throw up any issues.
The third alarm bell was that his requirements for a match were very broad, almost as though he did not care.
The final straw that broke the match was that on sharing with him that I had recently been the subject of a dupe, he stopped messaging me. Hmmm … a genuine guy would most certainly have responded, if only to have a go for thinking they were a dupe.
I hesitated for all of half an hour before reporting my concern about the profile. I did not want to jeopardise a potential match – but then, I am pretty certain I would have heard back from him within 5 minutes if he had been genuine. Of course, he may have been called away to attend to something – or, more likely, he was simply yet another fake.
Ok, so that is all I have time for just now, dear diary. It is my birthday tomorrow and Dillon’s best pal Spotty has invited me over for dinner tonight – or at least his hoomans have.
As ever, stay safe online, dear reader – and if you would like to share your experiences of online dating, comment, like or share this blog to spread the word.
As ever, images of Captain Thomas Lindegaard are used with his kind permission. Copyright remains with him and these should not be used for any reason without his explicit consent.
If you are approached on any site from a profile using images of this man (Captain Thomas Lindegaard), please be aware that there is a Tsunami of fake profiles out there using his images.
You can no longer report such occurrences to him as he is, for the time being at least, no longer on Facebook.