12th December 2017 14:00
Oh dear! I think I might have just blown it with someone rather dishy:-(
My fakedar is so sensitive that I am no longer giving people a chance. This profile, a really cute guy, messaged me. I was about to make a joke about him being too cute to be a genuine profile when I saw the detail in his message. I mean …. it was long. Of course, my initial response to him confused him somewhat and he asked me to explain. I tried to keep it light and briefly told him that I had recently been duped, and so I was ultra cautious online, and there were things about his profile that were red flags to me.
Firstly, he claims to be Scandinavian, living in Canada, and moving to the UK in the spring of 2018. Ok, so that would take care of any grammatical issues.
Secondly, was the very long message he sent to me. Regular guys don’t do this – they say hi, or you’re gorgeous …. or maybe even something a little rude. They do not send chapter and verse as an introduction.
But then I took a look at his profile – and boy, that was very long and detailed too. As I read it though, it slowly dawned on me that maybe on this occasion I had got it wrong! The things he wrote about were very specific and he talked about his siblings, about his job, and about his plans.
Maybe it is time to take a break from online
It seems, dear diary, that I can no longer discern between a real profile and a fake one. Not surprising really that my fakedar is hypersensitive – I mean, I am coming across up to 5 fake profiles every day.
The realisation that I can no longer trust my own judgement brought me to tears. Only for a few seconds but nonetheless, as hot tears prickled my cheeks, I resolved that I was just going to leave it alone.
I am not finding what I am looking for – and I have been full-on participating. Checking out profiles, clicking and swiping – giving guys a second look when I don’t get that gut feeling that yeah, I would like to get to know them better at first glance.
Cancelled guy doesn’t seem to be speaking to me anymore, although he said he understood my reasons for cancelling. (No, I didn’t tell him about my hangover, but gave a more acceptable – and actually truthful scenario as the reason for my backing out). He hasn’t picked up my last two messages – and who can blame him? I know he works through the day and maybe he just didn’t get to them – but hey – I’ve binned guys for being flaky too.
Is there ever any point to compromise?
Of course, there is nice guy – and we chat a lot. I’m not sure though – that there is enough of a spark between us to take it any further. We had agreed to meet, although a date and time has not been set in stone. He’s not the pushy type – but hey – it would be good to know he isn’t just going through the motions.
And then there is cute guy. I actually quite like cute guy, and he is pushing to meet. Everyday, he tries to persuade me to let him come over. Trouble is, dear diary, we want different things. At the outset of this period of online-dating-dalliance, I was very clear in my own mind what I did and didn’t want. So why am I even considering changing the rules to suit a man that although cute, I don’t actually know? Ok, so yes, he does message me every day. Yes, he would travel the 35 or so miles at the drop of a hat if I agreed to see him. As I have mentioned before, there is a 15 year age gap. Had I met this guy in a bar, and he asked me out – I am sure I would give it a try.
I think though, that when you haven’t met, it is so much harder to know whether the spark is there or not. Photographs are all well and good, but you need to see the crinkle around their eyes, the upturned mouth as they smile – and more importantly, you need to be drawn to them in such a way that is simply just not possible unless you meet in the skin.
So, dear diary, why don’t I just meet him? Well, I had agreed to meet him next week – but then he texted me yesterday asking if he could pop in. I mean, pop in? You do that when you are around the corner – not when you are 35+ miles away. I suppose the answer to that is that I don’t want to have to deal with the disappointment if the spark is not there.
Crazy I know …. the truth is – that we have shared a little too much for it to just be an “oh let’s meet and see if we like each other” deal. I like him. I actually like him. He insists that he really likes me too. I’m not so convinced. I think he enjoys the banter and likes the fact that I am not easily phased if he tries to become a little risque. After all, we are both adults – and I am more than capable of taking him down a peg or two if needed. Which I have – and do!
Ok, so I was a bit naughty this morning and let him think that he could come over – and when he was all “wow” about it … I countered that I hadn’t finished my sentence. He didn’t reply after that. I don’t blame him really … I mean … he can’t make it any plainer. But then, I can’t make it any plainer either what my deal is. He agrees to it and then he tries to change the plan.
So, dear diary, I am not convinced that I will meet him. Maybe then, I should let him off the hook that he seems to be dangling from. I’m not one to be a spoilsport – but yes, I can be a bit of a tease if I have a mind to be. Between the two of us, I rather think it is I who is playing games.
A second bite at the cherry?
Well, the rather dishy guy who I accused of being fake has messaged me again. I have decided to interact with him but just be cautious – as I always am. I mean, nothing ventured nothing gained right? And if he does turn out to be fake, it can only hurt me if I fall for it. That, dear diary, is not something I will let happen again.
Oh, and Captain Lindegaard is back on Facebook. Albeit he has shared that he is keeping his profile private. I don’t blame him. There is a gang of men misappropriating his identity and his images. It incenses me that Facebook, where the majority of the fake profiles are – do nothing to tackle this issue.
I’m also getting a little weary of some of the more persistent messages that I receive on my Facebook page. I mean, seriously, all contributions to the cause are to be applauded – but please, don’t give me a hard time about who I am – anyone who wants to know who I am can check me out by following the links to my websites or my blog!
That dear diary, is all I have to say for now …. as my fingers and toes are cold and I need to go switch the heating on!
As ever, images of Captain Thomas Lindegaard are used with his kind permission. Copyright remains with him and these should not be used for any reason without his explicit consent.
If you are approached on any site from a profile using images of this man (Captain Thomas Lindegaard), please be aware that there is a Tsunami of fake profiles out there using his images.