I had cause to reflect today, on everything that has happened since the time on 19th November when I discovered the man that I was so excited about was in fact a fake Thomas.
It is fair to say that it is a minefield out there – but something struck me today when I was talking about another issue. Personal responsibility. There is not much we can do to stem the tide of people who see no wrong in duping and scamming others – heaven knows, we have tried. The hours that have been dedicated to reporting the fake Thomases and warning other women are staggering. Not to mention the money I have handed over to Facebook to run adverts (better than the scammer having my money and my choice).
We each have our own story, and we each have our own personal influences. What we all have in common, is that we can choose to NOT be a victim when others try to exert their immoral behaviour on us. We can take care that we know who we are talking to and whereas I accept that the intense feelings that arise lead us to think we are in love (as I have experienced it myself) – it is the stimuli that is igniting our brains and making us feel that way. Fortunately for me, once the stimuli was removed, the intensity of my feelings subsided. After all … you cannot be in love with something that is not real. You can have feelings of intense pleasure in response to the pretty words and the flattering attention – that is not the same as enduring love.
For those women who continue to struggle with that happened to them, I would hazard a guess that they have other things going in their lives and the distress and disappointment has caused a loop. I cannot fathom though, how the real Captain Thomas Lindegaard Madsen must feel at the vitriol and obsessive way in which he is pursued.
It is a sad reflection that it has been beyond difficult to get anyone at #Facebook to listen and to apply correctly the community standards. That is a battle that I fear we will never win.
What I want to say to any person who reads this post – live your life the way you want to, develop the relationships in your life in the way that you want to – but please, be vigilant and accept that you have personal responsibility to protect yourself from those who would do you harm.