Dear diary, I have deleted the image showing the name and picture of the man that I came to believe was fake. In a moment of clarity ….ok well, I think I will keep that to myself. I have no wish to cause him any harm. I am not convinced he is a fake … if he is not, he is incredibly stupid.
4th May 2018
So it has been a struggle the last few days to come to terms with how things have played out with my would-be-distant-paramour. I knew I had made a HUGE mistake, the problem was … I did not know whether that was in trusting him in the first place or not trusting him. Not knowing was eating me up inside.
I sent him an email outlining exactly why I believed he fit the “profile”. I suppose I did this because my heart did not want to believe it was true, and if I was wrong – I wanted him to understand why I was yet again accusing him.
The silence in response was deafening. If there is one thing worse than not knowing, it is being ignored. My problem is …if I don’t know 100%, then I have a tendency to pick at the scab to provoke a response.
This morning, I sent the above to him and then deleted the app that we had been exchanging messages on. I had already deleted it, but as I was struggling with this – I reloaded it hoping to get some kind of acknowledgement from him.
This morning I did … although I no longer had the app, the message came via the browser on my phone. The message exchange says it all.
In my earlier post I did not reveal his identity. Even now, I am not entirely convinced that he is fake, and part of me wants to believe that he is saying it to enable me to move on. Ha! My critical friend on my shoulder is reminding me not to be such a fool. I guess it is human nature to hold onto hope.
A last word for the person who took the time to comment on my last post – although I did not authorise it to be shown…. you are entitled to your opinion. If sharing my story helps to warn other women then I choose to out the fakes. I know who you are, because I recognise the name and email address.
You need to stop this obsession of catching fake profiles on dating sites.
You were conned. Get over it and get on with your life.
I suppose on one level it is hugely embarrassing to admit that I have been caught out again. But then, all along I had my doubts – but I did not and will not let this stop me from looking for love. It just won’t be with anyone that is not able to meet up quickly.
All that is left for me to say, is don’t give up on love. Don’t let the fakes win. And above all else, no matter how attached you become – if you haven’t met them – you cannot 100% trust them until you do.
Take care of yourselves, and be safe