Dear Diary: Am I attracting the fakes or is it just bad luck?

Dear Diary

I read something today that is not a new concept to me, but it made the blood in my veins run cold.  In fact, I have been sat pondering why I feel so unsettled and a little weepy.  I’ve only had a few mouthfuls of the glass of red wine that I poured for myself.  My mind started churning over the possible reasons for the feeling of sadness that hit me square in the solar plexus, and forced hot tears to leak from my eyes.  Yes, I am overtired after being away for the weekend, which included a LOT of driving – but being over tired usually makes me grumpy not weepy.

Could it be because I was thinking about my recently departed cousin’s widow, and how she is doing?  Is this a latent form of grief for a much loved family member who has left us?

Perhaps I am over thinking this.  I try to settle into the feeling and simply experience it without analysing it.  As I try this tactic, I notice the sudden desire to eat something “really nice”.  Hmmm … so I do comfort eat!

One thing you may have picked up about me, dear reader, is that asking myself just to “be” without over thinking and analysing to the nth degree of a fart doesn’t really work.  I have an insatiable quest to understand things, and so my mind returns to my earlier thought.  Hmmm?  Oh – you want to know what I read that started me off on this tryst with naval gazing?  It was quite simply:

We receive what we ask of life.

Erm.  I’m asking for fakes to come into my romantic life?  Really?

If you follow the teachings of the Law of Attraction, then yes.  In some way, my psyche is inviting into my life the fakes who would relieve me of my hard earned cash if I wasn’t so stingy to part with it.  Actually, I am being self deprecating – I would never be foolish enough part with cash to someone I had never met, regardless of whether their recipe of sweet words and attention has drawn me in.

So what unresolved issue in my psyche is the universe tapping into?






For those of you who don’t know what the Law of Attraction is, in the most simplest form, it suggests:


Simply put, the Law of Attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. It is believed that regardless of age, nationality or religious belief, we are all susceptible to the laws which govern the Universe, including the Law of Attraction.

It is the Law of Attraction which uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality. In basic terms, all thoughts turn into things eventually. If you focus on negative doom and gloom you will remain under that cloud. If you focus on positive thoughts and have goals that you aim to achieve you will find a way to achieve them with massive action.

This is why the universe is such an infinitely beautiful place. The Law of Attraction dictates that whatever can be imagined and held in the mind’s eye is achievable if you take action on a plan to get to where you want to be. 

Really?  I have been focusing on people who are inauthentic?  Unless there is something going on in my subconscious I am not buying it.  If anything, I have proven that I can remain positive in the face of adversity and that I haven’t let it put me off finding a romantic partner.

Law of attraction aside, I am left wondering if there is indeed something beneath the surface of my iceberg that I am not aware of.  Intellectually, I am well acquainted with how early experiences in our lives can shape who we become as adults.  Emotionally, I really thought I had excavated and dumped all unhelpful and inaccurate beliefs I had about myself.

It is true that in this day and age many people find love online, and that is why I have dabbled with online dating.  It is not my preferred way of doing things, but it seems to be the only option that is open to me.  I do create opportunities to get out and socialise – but so far it has brought nada in the men stakes.

Internet dating, like any other aspect of life, is a good idea gone rogue.  Not because the concept is not a sound one, but because there are people out there who are looking for the next opportunistic way of making money without actually getting a job.  Some of the scammers lament that there are not jobs available for them, and so this is how they must earn money to provide for their families.  Maybe this is true.  Maybe not.  Either way – they are NOT getting my money, and I am hoping that twice bitten, I have now become immune to their charms.

 So, dear reader, I am inclined to think I have just been unlucky.  Perhaps given that I have not had that many dates, it is understandable that I should have a less than stellar view of online dating.  After all, it’s a numbers game.  If I had more dates I would increase my odds of finding that one special person that will save me from myself and t’internet.   Wouldn’t I??

That brings me to my final point.  Personal responsibility.   It is our responsibility to ensure that we take the necessary precautions to safeguard ourselves until such time as we are able to meet our would-be-paramour face to face.   Never get too emotionally invested with someone you have yet to meet, regardless of the sweet words and ego-stroking attention they put our way.  The reason it works in hooking women in, is because they tap into the fundamental needs we all have for intimate connections.

Back to my weepiness.   Who knows why I was having a “moment” – it seems to have passed, as I distracted myself with writing this blog.  Naval gazing over.  Bliss.




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