This article first appeared on www.phoenixcoachingsolutions.co.uk
Self esteem is one of those things that we are not always aware we have a problem with. Sometimes it is obvious – when we are lacking in confidence and don’t think we are good enough. Other times, it is less obvious that our self esteem is not as robust as it can be.
This might be the case when you are not making progress with some area in your life, and you feel stuck. Perhaps you keep being over looked for that promotion or every date you go on wants to keep you in the friends zone. You find yourself looking in the mirror and asking yourself “what is the problem? I’m confident and I know that I deserve what I am striving for, but why am I not getting it?”
If I was having that kind of conversation with a client, on the surface, they would be coming across as confident, assertive ….. and consistently not achieving their stated goals in either getting that promotion or finding a romantic relationship that sticks.
So, what is going on? As a coach I would help my client to peel away the layers that we tend to hide behind until we get to the root of the issue. If I was a gambling woman (which I am not), I would lay odds on favourite that the client is unaware that they have less than robust self esteem. Obviously, this is not the only issue that presents itself in our lives without us realising it is even there. It is, though, one of the fundamental core principles that will hold us back.
So, how do you know you have low self esteem when you outwardly feel confident and the face you show to the world is brimming with self confidence? Firstly, I would point out that self confidence and self esteem are two very different things, albeit closely related.