Dear diary: outing the fakes

Dear diary

29th May 2018 20:15

These images were some of the photos that were used in a romance scam.  The man featured in these pictures is a real person, by the name of Per Gunnar Dahl.  There is no suggestion that he has any connection whatsoever to this scam, and is an innocent party.  From what I have been able to determine, Mr Dahl has a prominent profile in Norway and this is most likely how he has come to the attention of the scammers.

 

 

It is likely that email, Telegram and mobile numbers will be changed, but here is a reminder of those details:

Name used Sigvard Aloisio Torvald, Siggy, Sig
Email s.torvald@outlook.com
Telegram user name @Sigggy
Mobile number +16 0422 77 488
Dating site username Looking4vikingman

Unfortunately, real numbers can be disguised and so I do not know where this scammer is located.

I would ordinarily seek permission to use the images, however, I have been unable to make contact with the real Per Gunnar Dahl.  It is important, I believe, to share these pictures to warn other women.

The copyright for the images remains with Per Gunnar Dahl.

 

Dear diary…

30th November 2017 07:48

So, this morning  is the first morning since since Fake-Thomas-Gate that I haven’t reached for my Dear diary blog as soon as I am out of bed.  Instead, this morning, I have been having a lil Tweet about other issues that are close to my heart.  Ok, so the Mason jar aren’t close to my heart, but the other topics I Tweeted about are.

Not sure where to start this morning, Dear diary, as I have a few things on my mind.

Not least that I continue to receive messages about dupes online – and Fake-Thomas’s still trying to befriend unsuspecting women on #Facebook.  This one despite being reported to Mr Facebook!

 

He is in my friends list

 

When my paid subscriptions end, I am done

I am still somewhat perturbed about online dating.  How difficult it is for anyone over a certain age, that the sites themselves seem to hold no moral compass when it comes to taking money from people who are unlikely to successfully receive a date via their site, and the scammers, fakers and plain weirdos!

I have two paid subscriptions.  One for a month, and the other – sadly, for six months!  Once these expire, I am done with online dating.  This whole sorry experience has not brought any potential dates into my life – just a bunch of disappointments.  Disappointment at the photo’s of the men that are contacting me – really – make an effort guys, and disappointment that the ones that I do have a modicum of interest in are too far away to make an initial dating scenario feasible.  Then there are the ones that simply want sex-talk.  Don’t get me wrong, dear diary, sexy-chat is not necessarily a bad thing – in the right context, and with someone that you have developed some level of relationship with.

Then there are the onlines that are free, but for which you pay for extras to get highlighted etc etc.  Sure, this results in a flurry of activity – but are these any more suitable than the search function?  In my experience that would be a resounding NO!

The online is dire

One dating site that I have been registered with a few years and have dipped in and out a couple of times with paid membership, is #MySingleFriend.  You know, the one that #SarahBeeny set up.  Well, I guess if you look like SB and – have SB’s life – maybe you would be successful at the online.  Or maybe, a more cynical view is that she just saw a business opportunity.  Come to think of it – maybe she didn’t create the site and is simply a bought-for-well-known- face to lend it credibility?

I keep forgetting to look at MySingleFriend as it is one of the few (if not the only one) that does not have an app.  Now an app, Dear diary, takes the effort out of looking for “something – anything” online.

So yesterday, I logged in and did a search using my preferred age range.  The site came up with about 57 matches.  Hmm …. I paid £27.00 for 57 age-related matches?  So, hoping beyond hope there would be a morsel of an interesting profile, I decided to check them out.  Easy to do so on MySingleFriend as the gallery has enough information to decide if you want to click on the pic and take a closer look.

I was shocked.  Crestfallen.  More than a little annoyed, Dear diary.  Out of the 57 potential matches – only ONE had been online within the last six months.  Ok – so when I looked a little closer – that would be TWO.  The remainder of the “matches” had all NOT been online within the last six months.  So either they had moved on – or they simply gave up with online.

One or two decent pictures

Ok, so I cheered up a little when I saw that there were one or two decent looking guys within this 57.  So, I decided to be bold and send them a message.  How to stand out I pondered?  Oh, I know … let’s put my humour at the forefront and make the odd quip about online.  That should elicit a response.  Oh boy.  Did it.  This is one not so kind exchange:

Online is dire

WHAT??!!!  Cold?  Rude?  Did I really deserve that?  This response took me aback. I am not a cold or rude person.  Ok, so I can be a little rude sometimes when a service provider is getting on my last nerve, but those who know me know that this descriptive assumption is way off the mark.

It certainly wasn’t the response that I expected.  Perhaps the adjective that is missing here is – passive aggressive – and I’m not talking about me!

What this guy could not know, is that I had displayed a tremendous amount of warmth with Fake-Thomas.  That I had used caring and loving language in the new found knowledge that the language you use is so crucial to developing relationships.  Whoa … hang on – lest I forgot, that whole exchange was based on a lie!  I was not building a potential relationship – I was unwittingly being drawn into a scammer’s lair.

Now it really is time to let it go

As I write this, Dear diary, what I realise is that what happened to me is no one else’s problem but my own.  Who cares?  I didn’t hand over £000’s and so no harm done, right?  The only people who truly have empathy for what happened to me – are the people who experienced similar themselves.  Not my friends, not my family and certainly not ex-friend.  The people that try to engage me in conversation are simply curious – or even just a little nosy.  It is an unwelcome trait of human kind to want to rake over every last detail of other people’s misfortune.  Why else do people rubber-neck at motorway pile ups?

I am no worse off than I was before.  So I need to let it go.  I thought I had – but if I am still ballbusting online, then clearly I haven’t.  All I am doing by being that way is attracting the guys who like to be dominated (go figure!) and putting off the guys who are half way decent.  That said, I didn’t lose anything from the above exchange as he lives the other end of the country.  To be brutally honest, to display such arrogance so early on was eye opening about the individual himself.  I hate arrogance of any kind.

With that in mind, that thought brings me to this question …. was my message to Mr Arrogant a little arrogant itself?  Maybe.  That was not my intention though.  My intention was to stand out (which it did) elicit a response (which it did) – unfortunately, it seems, for all the wrong reasons.

Well dear diary, it is time for me to leave this here.  I am not sure that I have covered what I set out to; what was uppermost in my mind.  As typically, once I start writing, I let the thoughts flow and go where they want to go.  Being in the flow, so to speak.  More on that later – but perhaps under my professional hat of success coach.

Later,

Carol xOxO

Website     Facebook page      Twitter  @BeYourBestSelf2 / Twitter @FakeDatingRebel   Social Media Groups

The only image of Captain Lindegaard that I remain attached to. I am working on that!

As ever, images of Captain Thomas Lindegaard are used with his kind permission.  Copyright remains with him and these should not be used for any reason without his explicit consent.

If you are approached on any site from a profile using images of this man (Captain Thomas Lindegaard), please be aware that there is a Tsunami of fake profiles out there using his images.

You can no longer report such occurrences to him as he is, for the time being at least, no longer on Facebook.

 

Dear diary …

28th November 2017 @ 06:37

Online dating woes

Elite

It has been quite a week.  I have been blogging, posting, and webmaking; not to forget Tweeting  and Twittering.  I have been using paid promotion on #Facebook to get my message far and wide (within a reasonable budget you understand).  For some strange reason Master Twitter does not want my money anymore, as I seem to have been banned from paid adverts.  Quite how I violated their policies, is anyone’s guess.  Of course, I did ask, in my inimitable style – of Tweeting along the lines of: Oi!  What’s going on??   The only response was that they would email me – which they haven’t.  So, I will keep my money thank you very much and spend it elsewhere.

A different kind of scam?

Oh, and guess what I received yesterday?  A letter on behalf of #EliteSingles demanding money.  The letter states that I failed to pay for a subscription in October!  WHAT???  Now given that these dating membership sites only let you use their premium services AFTER you have parted with your hard earned money, I fail to see how this is possible!  In any event, I’m pretty sure I haven’t been using that site for more than a year or so!

As you can imagine, I am well and truly p****d off with all things online dating right now!

So I hastily Tweeted #EliteSingles (guess what – I got no reply) and dashed off an email not to the company on the letter, but to their parent company.  I got the stock responder we will respond to your email within 48 hours!  So that’s me ever so slightly worried for the next 48 hours.  Oh, but wait!  Could this be another ruse?  Could this be a fake letter?

If it is, then what is really worrying is that they have my name and address.  Where did they get that from then?  I have seen nothing in the news about #EliteSingles being hacked.  Should this be the case, it wouldn’t surprise me – we only seem to get to hear about such happenings when the story is leaked.

So, getting back to my rather official letter demanding money.  I did a google search on fake debtor letters for dating sites and I came up with this:

Beware Fake Debt Collection Agencies

Bogus debt collection agencies, online dating chat robots, and an “Energy Department refund”: Internet ScamBusters.  Source

You can check out more posts about dating site debt letter scams on this forum.

Oh, while I’m at it – this article by the Independent popped up in the search list, and is worth a read.  WOW …a whopping £39 million has been reported (February 2017) to have been scammed out of online daters. WOW … big business then!

I have made a decision

No more online dating for me!  Yes, I would still love to have the odd date, spend time in the company of an interesting man, but I am done with paying for the privilege of regularly being disappointed.  In the couple of months or so that I have been avidly using the site, I have not had ONE date.  That’s right.  Not one.  Now lest you think I am butt ugly, let me assure you that when I make the effort, I scrub up ok.  Sniff.

Interaction that leads to nowhere

It’s not as though I don’t get a lot of “likes” and messages, and “so-and-so wants to meet you”.  Not one of these has led to a real world date.  Interestingly, it is from the sites where you can exchange messages unpaid (there are always paid for bells and whistles) that I have received offers of dates.  Two in particular: #POF and #Badoo.  Now, I have been on POF for years.  Badoo not so long.  Initially I was impressed that Badoo attempt to verify profiles – not so much when one such verified photo was confirmed as a fake!

Incidentally, the most expensive site that I am registered with, and from which I have received not even a modicum of interest from any guy that I would be comfortable to meet, is #Match.com!  (Buyer beware if you are over 40). 

Sure, following my not so new rule of meeting quickly rather than spending weeks or month endlessly conversing through the ether I have agreed to meet a number of men – you need to see if there is a spark, right?  This is what happened:

    • Guy that is more keen on me than I am on him, has blown me off twice.  Second time to see his solicitor about his divorce (erm .. ok, maybe too soon to be dating then!)
    • One guy within two seconds asked to meet – he was local (for a change) so I agreed.  This time I cancelled as my heart was not in it.  (I always said I would not meet a guy for the sake of it – but I was kinda wanting to bust my cherry on the first date from t’internet thing.  It’s been awhile since I dated at all, let alone from the net).
    • Yet another guy, local, but working away some distance asked me to meet the following Sunday when he was back home.  I agreed to this as, initially at least, I liked his no nonsense approach.  He then had to go and spoil himself by sending me a near-nude picture of himself!His retort to my protest was “well, you must find me attractive as you are chatting to me”.  Can someone please explain to me the logic of that one, and why chatting to him (or finding him attractive – as it happens I didn’t particularly) infers consent to receive dodgy pictures?  I mean, ok, so it was from the waist up – but I got the general idea and I am pretty sure the next one would have been the rest of the picture!
    • Another guy, again, local asked to meet.  He was reasonable looking if not a little tall for my petite stature.  We agreed to meet the next day, at a local bistro I know.  I had initially insisted that we meet for coffee at said venue, however, guy said that he rarely gets home from work before 7pm.So drinks it is.  The next day I eagerly awaited confirmation – and it didn’t come.  So I took it up on myself to send this message:

 haven’t heard from you so I am unsure whether we are actually meeting tonight or not. Could you let me know?

I decided that if I didn’t hear back in plenty of time for me to get ready at a leisurely pace then regardless of the answer I would cancel.  After all – I was NOT going to rush around like a demented loon trying to make a date that the guy did not have the decency to confirm the arrangements.

After some hours (and after the anticipated time of our meeting I might add), I received this response:

Hi Carol I am so sorry I was late back from London last night and it’s been absolutely manic today and a stressful day! Apologies that I didn’t get to respond earlier 😔x

Now ok.  That is fine.  But I am no longer playing nice online.  I have a new, no nonsense bad-ass attitude.  Had this gent simply messaged me to say that things were hectic and he may not be able to make this evening, I would have given him a second chance.  To not contact me, displayed a lack of respect.  I mean, the only reason I tried to confirm is that we hadn’t settled on an exact time.  Can you imagine how I would have felt if I had spent an hour or two getting ready?  You’ve heard the expression All dolled up with nowhere to go, right?

Keeping it real world

So, what is next for me and my seemingly impossible quest to have the odd date?  Well, a real life girlfriend of mine has invited me along to a social networking event in a nearby city.  I readily agreed to this and I am soooo looking forward to it.  A perfect opportunity to come across interesting people – and who knows – I  might score a date out of it.  At the very least, the see-before-you-date potential is so deliciously appealing.

Well, dear diary, that is all I have time for just now.  For anyone reading with me today, please do comment, like and share my blog.  It would be great to hear from you.

Later,

Carol xOxO

Thomas Pedersen

As ever, images of Captain Thomas Lindegaard are used with his kind permission.  Copyright remains with him and these should not be used for any reason without his explicit consent.

If you are approached on any site from a profile using images of this man (Captain Thomas Lindegaard), please be aware that there is a Tsunami of fake profiles out there using his images.

If you are approached by anyone using his images, please report this to Captain Lindegaard via Messenger on Facebook @CaptainThomasLindegaard.  You can also check out his Fake Alert page on Facebook by clicking the link.