Dear Diary: Lost in cyberland!

Dear diary

31st May 2018

Ok, so I concede – I have ventured back into cyberland dating.  Match.com lured me back with 600 views and 50-odd winks and 10 or so messages.  I got curious so I paid my dues.  Seems I never learn, as my heart sank at more of the same old same old.  I was also seduced to try eHarmony again after reading a press article about a match to marriage within 9 months.  (I guess I should have checked whether it was a sponsored storyline).  This story caught my eye as he was in the UK and she was in the States.  So, distance romance does work then!  Of course, they were in the 30s age bracket and I’m not quite sure a 50-something is going to meet the man of her dreams in this way.  Heck, I can’t even seem to meet the man-not-of-my-dreams.  I am getting a lot of attention from youngsters though – and if they are canny enough, a bit of banter doesn’t go amiss.

Of course, as soon as distance-guy-fake-gate became the reality rather than a possibility, I tapped off a text to my nice looking sex addict.  That reminds me, my new favourite line in response to anyone trying to engage me in sexy chat is:

If I wanted that kind of chat I have a very nice sex addict on speed dial!

Seriously, I actually did use that line yesterday!

I updated my profiles to take out the spikiness in the hopes of sharing that I don’t really hate men, I don’t think they are all fakes, flakes or frogs – but it doesn’t seem to have made much difference so far.  Ok, so it is not quite 12 hours since I paid up – but a girl is ageing by the minute!  Did I just call myself girl?  Hmmm … my sarcastic retort to one guy calling me girl suggests to me that I have linguistic double standards.

So, I wonder what is in store for me?  Instead of feeling excited at the prospect of getting to know a few new people and the possibility of a date or two, or three, I feel decidedly dejected and depressed.  Am I really here again?  Glutton for punishment does not begin to describe it – I really am unsure as to why I am putting myself through this again.

I did check out what is going on locally to see if there was anything I could rock up to that I might come into contact with a few guys – but nada.  It also seems that I need to live in any other town in the UK to find a nice date.  Without exception, all the guys I like the look of are over 200 miles away!  The cynic in me wonders if the dating sites set their algorithms to only show good matches at a distance!

Oh, a lovely interruption there from my sex-addict-guy:

When can I see you?

I do think he is cute, and I do think that he is a much nicer guy than he pretends to be … and maybe one day I will meet up with him.  Certainly the banter does make me feel a little better and is a distraction from my recent disappointment.  I am not convinced though, that he is not already attached.  A nice looking man in his 40s, single?  It doesn’t make sense.  Dallying with another woman’s man is a step too far and not one I intend to breach.  I have challenged him on this a few times and he assures me he is single as:

I’m not very good at relationships.

Hmmm … that may be due to the sex addiction then.   I do believe that we are all, as  individuals, responsible for our own consciences, however, knowing, or even suspecting that a man is in a committed relationship with another woman is a non-negotiable boundary for me.  Dating on the other hand, I don’t have a problem with a guy seeing other women, as long as he has no problem with me seeing other men (I should be so lucky).  After all, initially, dating is about getting to know someone, trying them out, and seeing whether you want to take things further.

So, dear diary, it looks as though I have jumped back into the mire … ahem … ok, so that attitude is not going to attract many dates.  I will be on my best behaviour, and treat it as the tool it is.  No dear diary, I meant the dating sites, not the guys!

I’ll be sure to let you know how I get on.

Later

Carol xOxO

p.s. I will be soooo grateful when I stop seeing “Siggy” when I glance at Mr Dahl’s pictures – one day at a time, I guess.

 

Dear diary: outing the fakes

Dear diary

29th May 2018 20:15

These images were some of the photos that were used in a romance scam.  The man featured in these pictures is a real person, by the name of Per Gunnar Dahl.  There is no suggestion that he has any connection whatsoever to this scam, and is an innocent party.  From what I have been able to determine, Mr Dahl has a prominent profile in Norway and this is most likely how he has come to the attention of the scammers.

 

 

It is likely that email, Telegram and mobile numbers will be changed, but here is a reminder of those details:

Name used Sigvard Aloisio Torvald, Siggy, Sig
Email s.torvald@outlook.com
Telegram user name @Sigggy
Mobile number +16 0422 77 488
Dating site username Looking4vikingman

Unfortunately, real numbers can be disguised and so I do not know where this scammer is located.

I would ordinarily seek permission to use the images, however, I have been unable to make contact with the real Per Gunnar Dahl.  It is important, I believe, to share these pictures to warn other women.

The copyright for the images remains with Per Gunnar Dahl.

 

Dear Diary: So it did happen again!

Dear Diary

27th May 2018 23:23 

Just as well I am too stingy to part with my cash.  I now have incontrovertible proof that the man (or should I say men) I have been interacting with for the last 5 months is fake!

If you come across a Sigvard Aloisio Torvald then beware – even typing his name feels difficult and wrong as that name is so familiar to me.  This person also uses Looking4Vikingman as a username on dating websites and I came across him on Zoosk.  I know that he also has a profile on Naturalfriends.co.uk although he doesn’t have an image on that one.  He said that he came off Zoosk after we “met” but may actually simply have blocked me so that I could no longer see his profile.  The email he goes by is s.torvald@outlook.com.  He purported to be Norwegian living in Canada and relocating to the UK.  He uses Telegram instant messenger service with the user name @Sigggy and the mobile number he uses is +16 0422 77 488.  Unfortunately it is all too easy to disguise a number these days to look as though it is coming from any country of a scammer’s choosing.

I won’t share the profile pictures here as these are of a real person, and so far I have not found any evidence of multiple profiles using the images.  If you do come across a man with this name though, please do contact me and send me a picture.  I can let you know if it is the same man and also recommend that you do a google reverse image search.  Unfortunately for me, this did not throw up a concern early on when I did this but when I used it again today, I got a hit

Make no mistake, this is big business to these people and they keep going as they do make many millions out of it.  It is organised crime and very slick.

Early on, he even sent me a copy of his passport, which I found particularly strange.  I was already aware though, that a fake passport had been used in one of the #FakeThomas scams and so I was cautious about that.  Never completely trust pictures of identification documents that are sent to you.  The only foolproof is to see that person stood in front of you.

That is all I have to say on the matter, dear diary.  Suffice to say .. I’m off dating permanently!

Later, (maybe)

Carol xOxO

WOW …life goes on

Dear Diary 

Dear diary, I have deleted the image showing the name and picture of the man that I came to believe was fake.  In a moment of clarity ….ok well, I think I will keep that to myself.  I have no wish to cause him any harm.  I am not convinced he is a fake … if he is not, he is incredibly stupid.

4th May 2018

So it has been a struggle the last few days to come to terms with how things have played out with my would-be-distant-paramour.  I knew I had made a HUGE mistake, the problem was … I did not know whether that was in trusting him in the first place or not trusting him.  Not knowing was eating me up inside.

I sent him an email outlining exactly why I believed he fit the “profile”.  I suppose I did this because my heart did not want to believe it was true, and if I was wrong – I wanted him to understand why I was yet again accusing him.

The silence in response was deafening.  If there is one thing worse than not knowing, it is being ignored.  My problem is …if I don’t know 100%, then I have a tendency to pick at the scab to provoke a response.

This morning, I sent the above to him and then deleted the app that we had been exchanging messages on.  I had already deleted it, but as I was struggling with this – I reloaded it hoping to get some kind of acknowledgement from him.

This morning I did … although I no longer had the app, the message came via the browser on my phone.  The message exchange says it all.

IMAGE DELETED

 

In my earlier post I did not reveal his identity.  Even now, I am not entirely convinced that he is fake, and part of me wants to believe that he is saying it to enable me to move on.  Ha!  My critical friend on my shoulder is reminding me not to be such a fool.  I guess it is human nature to hold onto hope.

A last word for the person who took the time to comment on my last post – although I did not authorise it to be shown…. you are entitled to your opinion.  If sharing my story helps to warn other women then I choose to out the fakes.  I know who you are, because I recognise the name and email address.

You need to stop this obsession of catching fake profiles on dating sites.
You were conned. Get over it and get on with your life.

I suppose on one level it is hugely embarrassing to admit that I have been caught out again.  But then, all along I had my doubts – but I did not and will not let this stop me from looking for love.  It just won’t be with anyone that is not able to meet up quickly.

All that is left for me to say, is don’t give up on love.  Don’t let the fakes win.  And above all else, no matter how attached you become – if you haven’t met them – you cannot 100% trust them until you do.

Take care of yourselves, and be safe

Carol xoxo

 

 

Dear Diary: Could it really happen again?

Dear Diary

crying woman 1

1st May, 2018

As I sit in front of my laptop with a heavy heart and feeling sick to my stomach, I am not sure I want to share this with you.

Writing though, is a way for me to deal with uncomfortable issues that refuse to stop swirling through my mind, torturing and mocking me.   You see, dear diary, I think it happened again.

As those of you who have read with me before, you know the sorry tale about the Fake Thomas that duped me back in November of last year.  Once I got over the initial shock, I put my anger to good use and created this blog, my website and Facebook page and groups; all dedicated to warning other women about the perils of dating online.

I have not only put considerable time and effort into this awareness raising campaign, I have parted with hard cash.  I have spent literally hundreds (if not a thousand or so) on paid advertising.  Ironically, the majority to #Facebook who have a woefully inadequate approach to applying their community standards to clearly fake profiles.  I am hoping that the advent of the GDPR regulations will make some difference here – but social media giants have grown into such arrogant entities, I am not holding my breath on that one.  But I digress.

Back to the issue at hand

For those of you who have followed my story, you will know that I “met” a man that was living overseas and claimed to be planning to move to the UK.  You will also know that in the early days I was at the same time blasé and guarded.  I was adamant that I would not put myself in a position where history could repeat itself.  When my fears got the better of me I called out “fake” and metaphorically ran away.  Not once, dear diary, but twice.

So what hooked me back in?  It is difficult to say for certain, but I guess there were two things that influenced my return to the interaction.  Firstly, that he did not respond in a typically “fakerish” way.  He did not disappear.  He did not block me.  He also did not reach out to try to persuade me that I was wrong.  Over a few days, as I saw him updating pictures of his life I wondered if I had made a terrible mistake.

And that leads me to the second reason.  I have so much love in my heart to share with someone.   It is not that I need a relationship to define me – I don’t.  I think there are few of us that would disagree that finding a good relationship can be life enhancing.  And why not?  Why do I have to be the one that lives my life alone when all around me live theirs with a significant other?  But then, it is not about what others have.  It is simply about human connection and sharing the loving heart that I know beats inside me.

Not only that, when we subsequently spoke again, he shared that he was not angry with me – he was simply devastated that I believed he was a fake.  I guess that statement really pulled at my heartstrings.

So what went wrong?

Four months down the line, it felt as though we were in fairly smooth waters.  At the back of my mind, I was not going to truly believe in this until I could stand in front of him and look into his eyes.  After all … I am not gullible.  For those of you guffawing at that remark, let me explain why.  Online dating works.  Not for everyone – but it is the social norm these days.  It would not be the first relationship that developed across the ether and geographical distance.

After all, what creates a relationship?  Largely it is about choice – you choose to take the chance on someone.  You explore whether you share common goals and values.  Finally, you decide whether you really like this person and take the risk of trusting them.  Spending time with someone, whether it be in the same room, on the telephone, or on an internet chat service – bonds develop.

It was also the only option that the universe seemed to be allowing to unfold.  At the  beginning of the year I ventured on some real face to face dates.  You can read the back catalogue if you care to know how those went.

As for how I have ended up here, writing this miserable story – he shared so much with me.  I felt that I knew so much about his life, his hopes and his dreams.  And he had a plan.  From what he said, that plan included me.  I am still not sure whether this has been an elaborate ruse, or whether what he did stemmed from him believing that we were on this journey together and on this basis it was ok to ask for my help.

I have to say, I am pretty devastated.  Not because I may have been caught out again by a fake, as I am not convinced that he is (I am just not ready to believe that yet).  But because I had allowed myself to believe that I had finally found someone special to share my life with.

It is not only heartbreaking, it is bloody embarrassing.  I had started to share my  excitement with friends and family.  I have not spoken to anyone in my day to day world about what has happened.  It is too raw.  Sure, they may be aware of this blog, and they may pick it up and read it.  I’m ok with that.  I do not though, want anyone’s pity, well meaning opinions or any well intentioned advice.  I simply want to lick my wounds with dignity.

I made my choice – I decided to trust.  That it didn’t work out is unfortunate.  This will not beat me.  I do think though, that I am off dating for a while!

For those of you who haven’t guessed already, here is what pushed my buttons enough for me to walk way

Throughout the four months that I have been interacting with this guy, he had told me about a contract that he intended to bid for.  It was worth a lot of money, but he had to find 50% of the mobilisation costs, which was up from the typical 30%.  This amounted to some 1.2 million dollars.  He shared a lot of information with me, together with contract documents.  I did find this a bit strange – but hey everything looked legit.

He was short of a couple of hundred thousand .. and he told me that he had reached out to friends and family and that he had whittled the shortfall down to 67,000.   The other detail isn’t really relevant, as I am sure you get where this is going.

A few days ago, I received an email from him – full of woe, and saying that he felt terrible, but if his last ditch attempt at raising the additional funds failed – he might be asking me to help him out.  My return email was very clear – No.  Regardless of whether I had that kind of money or not, I would not give him money based on the fact that we had not actually met.

He apologised, and told me that he had spoken to his sister about my response, and she had told him in no uncertain terms that she understood my reaction.

Needless to say, the discomfort that I was feeling would not go away.  I had just started to settle down about it when  I received this message:

Hi sweetie, can you raise $2-3,000 for me?  I will refund.

It goes without saying, I have cut all ties.  I do not want to believe that someone could enter into a deception for 4 months, but I have to face facts.  I just don’t want to believe it.  Regardless – he is gone.

Later,

Carol xoxo

Revisiting some of my older blog posts, I came across this:

 

Who knows what the future holds for any of us – all I know is that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and just jump off that safe bridge, and trust that whatever you find at the bottom – you can handle it; good, bad or indifferent.

leasp of faith

Beware of the fakes out there .. particularly using this picture!

This man’s image is used hundreds if not thousands of times by scammers trying to dupe women.

 

The #Fightback continues. Fake profiles are reported multiple times, sometimes we are lucky and they are removed first time they are reported, but more typical we have to report them again and again.

Kwabena Thomas has been a busy boy – I have just sent alerts to 19 women interacting with this particular fake profile. This is staggering. I can understand if a woman is approached on a dating website, but unless these women are being approached in Facebook groups, they must be accepting random friend’s requests.

Ladies, if you get a request from someone that you do not know, particularly if they are located in a different country, and you have no (real life) Facebook friends in common – BEWARE! PARTICULARLY if they are using the images of this man (who is real, legit, and happily married).

To read more and see the 100s of fake profiles using this man’s pictures take a look at the website and blog I created to warn women:

www.fakedatingdotcom.net
www.fakedating.blog

Or join the Facebook group Fightback Fakedatingdotcom Staysafe Online Dating

#Fakeprofilies #Scammers #Facebook

Stay safe online series #5: Whose responsibility is it anyway?

We all need to take personal responsibility for ourselves

I had cause to reflect today, on everything that has happened since the time on 19th November when I discovered the man that I was so excited about was in fact a fake Thomas.

It is fair to say that it is a minefield out there – but something struck me today when I was talking about another issue.  Personal responsibility. There is not much we can do to stem the tide of people who see no wrong in duping and scamming others – heaven knows, we have tried.  The hours that have been dedicated to reporting the fake Thomases and warning other women are staggering. Not to mention the money I have handed over to Facebook to run adverts (better than the scammer having my money and my choice).

We each have our own story, and we each have our own personal influences.  What we all have in common, is that we can choose to NOT be a victim when others try to exert their immoral behaviour on us.  We can take care that we know who we are talking to and whereas I accept that the intense feelings that arise lead us to think we are in love (as I have experienced it myself) – it is the stimuli that is igniting our brains and making us feel that way.  Fortunately for me, once the stimuli was removed, the intensity of my feelings subsided. After all … you cannot be in love with something that is not real. You can have feelings of intense pleasure in response to the pretty words and the flattering attention – that is not the same as enduring love.

For those women who continue to struggle with that happened to them, I would hazard a guess that they have other things going in their lives and the distress and disappointment has caused a loop.  I cannot fathom though, how the real Captain Thomas Lindegaard Madsen must feel at the vitriol and obsessive way in which he is pursued.

It is a sad reflection that it has been beyond difficult to get anyone at #Facebook to listen and to apply correctly the community standards.  That is a battle that I fear we will never win.

What I want to say to any person who reads this post – live your life the way you want to, develop the relationships in your life in the way that you want to – but please, be vigilant and accept that you have personal responsibility to protect yourself from those who would do you harm.

#Besafe #PersonalResponsibility

Check out the website and Facebook groups:
www.fakedatingdotcom.net 
Facebook page and groups

 

Dear diary …

Sunday, 28th January 2018

It is a lovely (nearly) sunny Sunday morning, and all is good in my world.  Ok, so I am getting over a virus but my sore throat has now gone and my coughing isn’t so bad when I am up and about and moving around.

I’ve exchanged a few chatty messages with a couple of new guys – one that I really like, but who lives a tad far away.  No matter – we are going to try to meet up the next time he is within reasonable distance for business.  The other, just a short train ride away, but so far meh!

I have four dates under my belt now, or five if you count the second date with no. 3.  The Fourth one didn’t go so well – I mean, technically it was fine – but I couldn’t wait to get out of there.  I had nothing in common with this guy – at least, I have no way of knowing if I had anything in common with him as he quite literally dominated the conversation and talked nonstop  from the second he sat down to the moment I made my excuses to leave.  (When I say conversation, I am being generous – a conversation requires that both parties have a turn to speak).

Fifty minutes in, he thought to ask me a question.  I started to answer, but this was soon kicked into touch as he then went on to tell me his version of what I had just shared with him.  Thirty minutes into the coffee date and I couldn’t wait to get out of there, I was so bored.  I resolved to at least give it an hour, and in the event, it took 1.5 hours before he stopped talking long enough for me to say “I have to head off soon …..”.  He looked surprised at this; maybe he thought we were getting on like a house on fire – but then how would he know as he was only paying attention to himself and his relentless (boring) chatter.

Outside of the venue, he asked me which way I was walking, and so I hastily pointed in the opposite direction to they way he was facing (and where he had parked his car).  I thanked him for the coffee, and started to move away.  At this point, he leaned in to kiss me on the cheek – so he kinda missed, but his lips fleeting brushed my skin.  Awkward!

So, I suppose 3 out of 4 is not bad.  Three guys were lovely dates and I enjoyed spending time with them.  Ok, so the first two I did want to take further – but never-the-less, I am glad I met them.  Number 3, I enjoyed a second date with, and would be happy to continue dating and exploring.  So far so good, but I remain ‘window shopping’.

One date at a time?

It was during an interesting conversation with distance-chatty-guy last nigh that I coined the term ‘window shopping’.  The message exchange reinforced my view that ‘dating’ means different things to different people.  It was during this conversation that I coined the term ‘window shopping’.  He knew from our conversation that I had been on two date with No. 3, and he had responded to let him know if and when No. 3 bites the dust.

 

 

Now I thought that ‘dating’ meant that you could legitimately meet up with more than one guy; that there is no commitment made to an exclusive relationship until you both decide that is what you want to move onto.

 

It was also endearing to learn that men find dating anxiety-inducing too.

Men find dating nerve-wracking too

Although, it has to be said that dating no longer holds any fear for me.  As I said to distance-chatty-guy, I have my ‘armour’.  This is a little black dress that I feel good in when I wear. I dress it up or down depending on whether I am meeting for coffee for for an evening drink.  I would not ordinarily wear this dress during the day, but it looks good with a gorgeous scarf that my sister gave me for Christmas – and hey, we all need a confidence boost to get over those first date nerves.

Well, time for me to get on with my day – and get cracking on finding date number 5!

Later,

Carol xOxO

 

 

Dear diary…

25th January 2018

Oh .. on checking the date for my diary, I am reminded that it is my late mother’s birthday!  So happy birthday, mum, I hope you are celebrating ‘wherever’ you are.

So, it has been a while since my last post.  I am happy to report that I have enjoyed 4 real live dates, (two with the same man) and I have another to look forward tomorrow.  It seems as though I have benefitted from the typical ‘January Sales’, as prior to Christmas there wasn’t really very much happening!

Here’s my recipe for surviving that first date!

  1. Arrange to meet quickly; don’t overcook the introduction
  2. Choose comfortable but smart clothes; so you can focus on the cooking rather than fidgeting with your hemline/neckline
  3. Choose a familiar venue; so you don’t have to worry about the ingredients
  4. Don’t drink too much; you don’t want the dish to spoil through over cooking
  5. Always know how you are going to get home; you don’t want to end up with ‘food poisoning’ due to poor planning
  6. Always send a polite thank you text – even if you don’t plan to see your date again; good manners cost nothing and karma influences the overall banquet

I measure success by a) whether I enjoyed myself and b) whether they ask to see me again.  It does not matter whether I don’t want to see them again, as the goal has been achieved.  I am not expecting Mr Perfect to fall into my lap right now  – but I can honestly say that each of the three men that I have met up with have been very nice, and I enjoyed their company.  I certainly don’t start my date hoping “this is the one”.  I look forward to getting to know the person, and seeing if there is a spark.  No great expectations means no great disappointments.

The hardest part is breaking the no-date-yet syndrome

Now that I have enjoyed a number of successful dates, it feels so easy.  Each of the men that I have met, I have agreed to meet quickly; this meant that there was no fear.  I wasn’t fretting about whether I looked good enough, whether I was slim enough or whether I would have anything interesting to say.  Why?  Because I wasn’t over invested before I met them.

The nice guy that I had been chatting to since before Christmas, and whom I “ditched” once it became clear he didn’t seem prepared to take a chance because of the distance; now that smarted – because I had allowed myself to become a little invested in him.  Although a little sad, as I would have loved to meet him for real – I soon got over it.

Just the beginning of the story

One thing that has become clear to me, is that when you get to my age, although lots of men want a significant relationship, they are unsure (or sometimes very sure) about wanting (or not, as the case may be) a full on relationship.  The guy that I have seen twice, although separated for a number of years, is only just finalising his divorce.  He said to me:

I don’t really know what I want.  I want a significant relationship, but I don’t want to live with someone.

Seems to me he verbalised clearly what he wants.  Perhaps he felt he needed to qualify that with “I don’t really know what I want” in an attempt to manage any expectations of his date.  Or maybe, it is simply true.  My response was:

I don’t know what I want either, but I do know what I don’t want.

That may seem a contradictory statement, but it makes sense in my own head.  What do I mean when I say this?  If I had to put it into words (which of course, I do seeing as I am referencing it in my blog), it would be that I am clear on what I don’t want but that I am open to options in terms of what I do want.  Is that any clearer?  No?  Ok, let me put it this way:

  1. I would never date a married man
  2. I would never date a man because of what he has
  3. I don’t want a man to “take care of me”, if I found one that was caring and supportive, that is different and very welcome
  4. I would not date a man that I did not find attractive, just to have someone to hang out with

What does dating mean to you?

I pose this question, as within a few minutes of meeting, one of my dates and I had a debate about what “dating” actually is.  Whereas I consider that dating is a social relationship where there is a potential for romance, but where you are not (yet) exclusive, he thought dating was rather an American perspective, and for him it was “going for a drink”.

Does this difference in terminology matter?  I suppose it might if the two people concerned wanted different things.  Some people really do go into this with the idea that the only thing they are looking for is a life mate.

For me, if I find someone that I consider to be so special that I want to commit to them – then that is a bonus.  However, I do not plan to remain a romance free zone just because I haven’t found “Mr-Right-For-Me”.

Late to the party

What is interesting for me, is that this is the first time ever in my life that I have ever actually ‘dated‘.  In my younger years, once you started meeting up with a guy, you pretty much were “courting” and in a relationship.  When I got with my ex, it was pretty instantaneous.  Perhaps that was because we had a history (we were together in our late teens/early 20s)?  I can’t really be sure on that as I don’t have a lot of experience to go on.

So for now, I am really enjoying my new found dating status.  In the past few weeks, I have learned a lot.  Although my dating guru counselled me to stick to one hour for the first date, so far they have been: 2 hours, 3 hours and 6 hours (yes really!).  I feel confident enough to not have to put a time framework around a date, as, if I felt really uncomfortable, I would simply say my goodbyes and leave.

I have discovered though, that I prefer a daytime coffee date for a first meeting.  If the interaction is going well, I am happy to extend that to a drink.  I also now know that for an evening date, I need to be disciplined and not go beyond 3 drinks.  Not just because I don’t want a hangover the next day, but also because you don’t know your date tipsy, and even the nicest guy can become a little louche under the influence.  Although the image in my head was the latter half of the date – I gave him a pass (after all, he had forewarned me that he sticks to ale for a reason!); and so we enjoyed a second date last night.

So, dear diary.  All is well in my world.  (Except for a raging sore throat – the pitfalls of venturing out and about!).

I would love to hear your dating stories – why not drop me a comment or an email?

Later

Carol xOxO

 

Stay safe online series #4: it is not just the love fakes we have to watch out for

“Love is all around us … everywhere you go…”

It has been an interesting few days.  I have enjoyed a couple of dates – both were successful in as much as both expressed an interest in seeing me again (a confidence boost I can tell you).  I also got drawn back in to all things fake when approached by someone concerned about her friend who had updated her #Facebook status to say that she was “in a relationship” with a profile that we both know to be fake.  This because, the profile is using #CaptainThomas ‘s images.

After a lengthy discussion, I agreed to send a message to the lady in question with links to my website, blog and Facebook page.  I did not get a response, however, a quick check showed a status change, back from “in a relationship …..” to “widowed”.  I do hope that this lady is able to reach out to her friends to support her, as I am sure she is feeling rather lost and bewildered.

What is love and what does it mean to YOU?

 

After some harsh words (on my part) I asked the man in question what he wanted.  He replied with this – no words, no bullshit.  They say a picture can paint a thousands words… well this “sticker” image cut right through to the core of what we are both looking for.

 

 

After a few days of not being in contact, I was sent this image this morning.  This from a man who simply wants to be part of my life.  Again, no words, but a very simple message.

 

Who knows what the future holds for any of us – all I know is that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and just jump off that safe bridge, and trust that whatever you find at the bottom – you can handle it; good, bad or indifferent.

 

Not everyone in the world is a stand up person

On checking my email, this morning, I was reminded that the cheats, fakes and scammers aren’t just in the dating world.

This is what I received:

I am dying – please adopt my child and I will give you all my money!

 

I have a “business” deal for you!

It is a while since I have received emails like this – but I guess that is because the spam filter on my business email is not as well defined as my gmail accounts.  It is a salutary reminder that fakery is all around us – and we can’t take it personally.  We haven’t been targeted or singled out.  Many of these attempts are random – in the hopes that they will hook in one or two that will take the bait.

2018 – a year of new beginnings

Many of us start off a new year full of hope: that things will go our way, we will get slimmer, drink less, be more assertive, get richer, find a better job …..find love!

Let me share with you, dear reader, something I wholeheartedly believe.  That the exquisiteness that is life is in the journey.  The destination is never guaranteed – just enjoy the journey along the way!  If you do that – the destination becomes somewhat irrelevant.

Later,

Carol xOxO